Something to digest

Humour with lessons in them, regards to my dad who sent them to me.


Lesson I
Standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.

"Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document,and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?""Certainly," said the young executive.He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the startbutton."Excellent, excellent!" said the CEO as his paper disappeared insidethe shredder machine. "I just need one copy."


*LESSON - NEVER, NEVER ASSUME THAT YOUR BOSS KNOWS EVERYTHING.*



Lesson II

The organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was
in charge. Each organ took a turn to speak up:

Brain......... I should be in charge because I run all body functions.
Blood........ I should be in charge because I circulate oxygen for thebrain.
Stomach...... I should be in charge because I process food to the brain.
Legs......... I should be in charge because I take the brain where itWants to go.
Eyes......... I should be in charge because I let the brain see whereit's going.
A s s h o l e.....I should be in charge because I get rid of your waste.

All the other parts laughed so hard and this made the asshole very mad.To prove his point, the a s s h o l e immediately slammed tightly closedand stayed that way for 6 days, refusing to rid the body of any waste whatsoever.

Day 1 - Brain got a terrible headache and cried out for relief
Day 2 - Stomach got bloated and began to ache terribly
Day 3 - Legs got cramps and became unstable
Day 4 - Eyes became watery and vision became blurred
Day 5 - Blood became toxic and poisoned the body
Day 6 - The other organs agreed to let the a s s h o l e be in charge.


*MORAL OF THE STORY: NO MATTER WHO YOU ARE, OR HOW IMPORTANT YOU THINKYOU ARE, YOU WILL FIND THAT IT IS ALWAYS THE A S S H O L E THAT IS IN CHARGE.*.